WHISPER
by silk1
Summary: This was the ultimate test. "Both of you answer me this. When I last stood on this beach on the worst day of my life. What was the last thing you said to me?"


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Russel rules us all.

NOTES: WOW …what a finale. Truly the end of an era…..I had tears in my eyes for …like the last 20 minutes. I salute you, Russel. It was everything I had hoped for and so much more. THANK YOU!

Hope all of you liked it as much as I did.

Of course that one heartwrenching scene would not leave me almone…..sooo

**WHISPER**

She couldn't believe it. After everything she had done, after everything she had been through. After him almost regenerating and all the fighting and the fear. After crossing oceans of time.

Here they were …again.

In Bad Wolf Bay, on the beach …again.

He was saying goodbye to her again.

He was breaking her heart...again.

It wasn't fair.

She could feel tears fill her eyes, just like the last time she had stood here in the sand.

He was gonna leave her with that stranger. A stranger with his face …but to some extent a stranger none the less. Maybe it was him …a part of him.

But they acted different ….she could see. She could feel it.

It wasn't him. Not entirely.

"He needs you. That's very me.", he said.

And it made her want to hit him.

And then there was Donna, urging this new doctor …to tell her that she could have everything she had once fantasized about in secret. Feeling ashamed of wanting him for herself. For wanting him to be diminished in this way.

A real life …with the doctor. A doctor who did not have to watch her wither and die. Someone she could stay with…someone who could stay with her…forever. Grow old with her …someone who just wasn't quite the doctor she had fought so hard to find again.

She could see it in his face …as he told her that he had only one heart. That he wasn't quite sure if he should tell her. That he was scared of her rejection …despite the whole humanity issue. He was the doctor …his mind, his body, his thoughts …but just one heart. As if that seemed symbolic for him being not wholly the doctor she knew.

And yet …there was something about him when he told her. Some defiant spark that told her that he did not want her to settle for him because he was part human and she could have him. That he did no want her to see him as second best. There was an openness and bravery in him, that she had not seen before … And the way he said her name. Just like him…exactly the same way.

"I 've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you."

And he wanted too…she could see it. She could feel his sincerity …but he didn't want her for the wrong reasons.

She reached out her hand and felt his heart …only one, beating in his chest. So strong.

And the way he looked at her as she did it. The way he watched her …with an expression filled with curiousity, astonishment, understanding and indulgence. Just like he used to look at her. There was so much familiar in him, this new man. She could see so many things she had longed for to find again…for so long.

But she was so confused….so very confused, her feelings all jumbled up, her whole world akimbo. She needed to know for sure. She needed to know that to do ….if this new man really was him. If she could …

"I am him." He told her stonily. And she could hear a hint of resentment, even jealousy in his tone. Because this other man, this new man could have something he never could …

"Allright, both of you answer me this. When I last stood on this beach on the worst day of my life…what was the last thing you said to me?"

This was the test. The ultimate test.

"Does it need saying?"

She was about to scream at him.

YES. YES …Don't you see? Just once I need to hear it. Just once I need to be sure.

She knew it would come at a cost for him. She understood why he could not say it. Had never said it before …because words had power. Because you could not unsay them. Once uttered you could not take them back …not ever.

But she needed to hear it none the less. Just once …to be sure. To be absolutely certain that he felt that way about her. That he felt what she felt ….that she was not alone…

For a moment she thought that her heart would break …again. Over and over.

He looked at her. It was all there in his eyes.

Him willing her to understood why he couldn't answer her question.

The sadness he felt. Everything he had gone through since their ways had parted.

But her eyes had stories to tell now too…so many things.

After everything he had shown her, given her. How hard it had been for her to be stranded without him. In a new reality…a new life. Not that it wasn't good. She had her father….her parents were happy. She had Mikey's unwavering friendship, which was so much more valuable because she knew that it had to hurt him too…to see her grieving for the life she had almost completely abandoned him for. And would so again ….if the occasion ever arose.

She had been hurt too. She had been alone and heartbroken and grieving too….

And she could feel it now, how she had longed for him. How she had longed to see his face, his wild eyes, his brilliant smile that could be so very scary sometimes.

How she had missed him ….

She could feel it now, the frustration that brought tears to her eyes. How much it hurt her, that even now…as he was saying goodbye to her again …that not even now he could bring himself to say it.

She understood. She felt or him …but it hurt.

Rose turned …searching the other one's eyes. The doctor…a human. It was the weirdest thing to know that he was mortal…this doctor. To know that one day his face would age enough to hold those ancient, pain filled eyes. To know that he could die, scared her enough to steal her breath. Made her feel protective ….because just like this he could be gone.

I am a new man. He had said, when he had fought the Sicoraxx. And this was a new man too…still hurting …still that haunted look in his eyes.

"That's me when we first met."

He was right of course. She could see it. See it in the other one's face.

She could still remember the first Dalek she had encountered. She could remember the doctor's rage, his confusion …his wrath and his pain. It had scared her. The Dalek had been more like him than he knew. The thing had made the same remark. Come to the same horrific conclusion.

Each of them the last of their kind in the whole universe. Each of them alone. Until she came. Destroyer of world's that what it had called him. He had killed their whole race and his own in an effort to save the rest of creation. And he had paid the price …It had ripped apart a part of his soul. And only now she could see that at least a part of the man he had become…was her doing. She had put a part of his soul back together. Gave his life something new. She had made him a better man …

And now he wanted her to do it again. To another part of him, a new version of him.

A new man …a man that was essentially him. And yet ….this doctor had lost his immortality…but gained something with the new humanity.

And what that was, Rose was about to discover … this new man, this new version of him had lost a bit of fear. And gained a bit of courage ….

And suddenly Rose felt a bit scared as he leaned down to her to whisper in her ear.

She could feel his breath on her cheek. His lips so close to her ear, that they grazed her earlobe ever so softly. As he whispered to her those words that she had so longed to hear …

"Rose Tyler … I love you."

She could feel some terrible weight lift from her heart, some strange heat radiating through her chest. And all she could do at this moment, was to do what she had wanted to do so many times before …she grabbed the lapels of his coat and kissed him. And despite of her frustration, her doubts and her fears ...it was a joyous thing. To pull him closer, to throw her arms around his neck and hold him to her …feel him respond to her in a way he had never allowed himself before.

He had used that time to steal away of course. And all she could do was watch the Tardis disappear. Watch him disappear from her life …again. Forever.

Yet…there he was. Walking up next to her in silence. Taking her hand ...the way he used to. Squeezing it lightly as if to reassure her.

Rose swallowed hard, the profound feeling of loss still raw inside of her.

And yet …there he was, strong, silent, understanding.

She turned her head to look at him and he returned her look. Without a word.

He held her hand and looked at her, his face as serious as hers. As if to let her know that he was going nowhere. He was staying.

He would be there for her…just like this. Forever.


End file.
